This week has been chaotic. Like, properly, stupidly, chaotic. Whoever thought it was a good idea to combine school holidays with a child’s bodyweight in chocolate clearly didn’t think it through. Same goes for holidays and working. Not a great match, as it goes. And then there was the sick bug. Two out of three …
Once upon a time, in my role as a wine buyer, I was asked to find out what wine went best with chocolate. I was put in a room with about forty types of chocolate (bars, puddings, you name it) and about a hundred different wines of all styles and colour. I was then told …
Sun on skin. A sea breeze. Clinky drinks with ice and a slice. A chapter read in the bath (uninterrupted). Fish & chips. Champagne. Fish & chips served with Champagne. Dancing in the kitchen. An empty laundry basket. Clean plates. My one and only matching set of underwear. Having chicken stock in the fridge. Singing …
This weekend, I sat down and started work on the book. We’ve got a plan: I’ve now just got to write it. From now on, Unbearded Husband will be taking the children off for usual Saturday morning stuff (Eldest Boy’s football, walk the dog with the other two) giving me a few hours’ peace to …
So, I’ve got news. I got an email just before Christmas. It was from a fellow knackered mother and wine lover. Oh, and she was also an editorial director for a publishing company and asked if I would like to write a wine book. At which point, my knees buckled and I had to sit …
I love a good acronym as much as the next person, particularly when they can be used as mnemonic devices (my music teacher taught me Every Good Boy Deserves Fun. Aware that sounds bad). Anyway, my new favourite? Person Over Thirty Acting Twenty One. Yes, the P.O.T.A.T.O. Actually I’m nearly forty but P.N.F.A.T.O. doesn’t work …
“We’re looking for a female drinks expert for our new TV show…” said the email. Would I be interested? First reaction was YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING. Closely followed by well, you know, I suppose I could. Nothing to lose. How hard can it be? Turns out, really f*cking hard. All I had to …
I think it was Elizabeth Taylor who once said that she and her at-the-time beloved Richard Burton used to see so little of each other when they were both appearing in different plays that most of their time together was spent as they crossed in the hallway of their home, ‘like hips that pass in …
Perhaps it is the influence of London Fashion Week but this weekend I became absolutely sure that a pair of bright pink jeans from Zara would complete my life. Tonight it is the turn of a pair of wide-legged sailor trousers from Boden (I know, I know. I have resisted). What is it about fashion …
The first time Bearded Husband and I spent Valentine’s Day together, we’d actually been together for seven years. Different schools (we were fifteen when started ‘going out’, not that we went anywhere then) followed by different universities meant we weren’t in the same place on Valentine’s Day until then. And when we finally were, go …
If you fancy doing the same – combining cake and wine that is, not behaving badly in a tearoom – then here’s your chance! Enter English Mum’s Baked With Love Bakeoff and the winner gets pink fizz. I’ve heard that the judge is open to bribes and that my her favourite cake is coffee & …
Glorious, under-rated and often misunderstood: that’s Sherry. Well, not all of it – there’s lots of sweetened stuff that tends to cast an unfashionable shadow over the rest – but the good stuff is really, really good. So when my friend Hannah asked for some Sherry recommendations I vowed to do a post on them. …
A normal Tuesday night for me goes something like this: have a bath, go out, meet a friend for supper in a local gastropub, share a bottle of wine, get back after 11pm…oh, sorry. No, forgive me, that’s my old life. Tonight has been about getting three children to bed (easier herding goats, although I’ve …
After the incredible madness of December, January is a horrible month. I feel thin in January, and sadly I don’t mean weight-wise. Just thin. A large part of feeling like this is because this is the month my little brother died: it will be ten years next week since he did. But as the month …
Two booze-free days a week, that’s what we’ve been told by a group of MPs. I think that’s a sensible idea, not least because it gives us time to plan – on the wine-free days – exactly what we are going to enjoy a glass of on the non-wine-free days. In fact, a friend asked …
I had planned a short post about my new year’s resolutions, but given that mine are hideously unoriginal (eat less/move more/shout only when absolutely necessary) I point you to Potty’s declarations of intent. I love them, especially the one about chocolate and wine, where she suggests a little of the good stuff is usually better …
I love Christmas. Family, friends, food, wine, laughs, late nights and slight indigestion just about sums up mine. But as much as you hold loved ones close at Christmas, you really miss the ones that aren’t here. So, here’s to the person or people you are missing this Christmas. Thinking of you. Current white in …
Last night, as I shoved unsolicited advice about sparkling wines down your throats, Tara tweeted asking for some still wine recommendations, especially reds, for Christmas. So, since she asked, here’s what I’ve got in for next week: Whites in the fridge: Tesco Finest Argentinian Chardonnay 2010, £5 on offer, Tesco I shipped in some NZ …
I know that advice is only appreciated if you ask for it in the first place. Take being pregnant, for example. A largely – literally – good experience bar the unsolicited advice thrown at you from the moment your up-the-duffness becomes public knowledge. But advice is usually given with your best interests at heart and …
We moved into a new house earlier this year. It is a 1970s-built bungalow in the woods. It has a whiff of The Ice Storm about it, but without the swinging. A few of the houses do have pampas grass outside but as yet, no evidence of keys in glass bowls. So it was with …
Last week I mentioned the Call My Wine Bluff wine quiz I took part in the week before that. The one where I had to guess what the wine in my glass was – out loud – in front of 200 people and five celebrities. Here’s the photo taken at the end with me, my …
Last week, I spoke at a wine industry seminar about how to make wine more engaging for people buying it. Ahead of the talk, I turned to you lot to save my little-larger-than-I’d-like backside. I emailed some of you and asked via the BritMums forum if anyone had any views they could share. The response …
Last Friday night, I was asked to do a wine tasting in the village hall for 60 people to raise funds for the village twinning association. We’re twinned with Hautvillers, a beautiful village in the Champagne region. In fact, Dom Perignon, the monk who ‘discovered’ Champagne is buried here (even though technically the whole bubbles-in-wine …
No, I don’t mean whether K-Mid’s up the duff, or whether K-Kard’s wedding was a fake, or whether I’ve bought the right kick-ass winter boots (which I know I have, btw). No, what really matters this week is wearing a poppy, donating if possible and thinking about the people affected by war; past, present and …
I never did see the Kevin film. Turns out The Help started at the same time so we chose schmaltz over shootings. Cried on and off for two hours and loved it. What we do need to talk about, however, is how to broach the subject of booze with our children. How young is too …
Actually, I can’t talk about Kevin because I haven’t seen it yet but I am off to see it tonight, at the lovely cinema I told you about where you can take your wine glass in with you and the seats don’t make you feel like your head will be itching by the end of …
Fancy Dress parties and me do not have a happy history. There was the time Bearded Husband decided we should go as Derek & Clive to a New Year’s Eve party. As other girls glowed in beautiful dresses, I sweated profusely in a Mac, flat cap and men’s shoes. I even had a ham sandwich …
According to a recent survey, 32,000 women left their jobs in the past year, not because they didn’t want to work but because it didn’t pay to do so. I nearly choked on my Sunday-night-cheese-&-crackers-in-front-of-Downton when I read this. So, we’ve got thousands of workers leaving their jobs every year because they can’t afford to …
This is a vlog on bullying done by BritMums. I blurb on a bit but Penny’s advice about throwing comments in the bin is BRILLIANT.
I love this time of year. Yes, of course I love the falling leaves, scrumping, resulting apple cakes and all that. But what I really love is the fact that the weather demands a fairly generous glass of red. A close second is the TV schedule and the fact that leaving the sofa on a Saturday night is …
Next week, after 16 years of continuous employment (bar three maternity leaves), I am going freelance. It is either going to be the best thing I ever did, or a really, really silly thing to do. Let’s see, shall we? With huge thanks and a bear hug to Hugh MacLeod. Current white in the fridge: Porcupine …
When I was six I stepped on Mickey Mouse’s tail accidentally (on purpose) to increase my fancy dress chances at the local village fete, only to come second. From that day, I resigned myself to the fact that I am just not one of those competition-winning type people. Until now, that is. Since I started …
I am 39 years old on Sunday. Totally fine with that. What I am not fine with is my birthday wish list. I wrote it down earlier this week. It looked like this: 1. A wheelbarrow 2. A new roasting dish That was it. Pathetic. I am sharing it with you now in the hope …
Shortly after 12am this morning, at the International Wine Challenge Awards Dinner in London (click here for results), I was on the dance floor in high heels and Westwood. And I was actually Shakira. In bed by 2am, awake by 6am, back home from town by 8am ready for the school run. For just a little …
Actually, gone fishing, crabbing, shell-seeking, rock-pooling, sand-in-sandwiches picnicking and all that. We’ll send you a virtual postcard, but can’t promise to post it before we get home. In the meantime, here’s what I’ve just packed in the food box: Current white in the fridge: Maurel Vedeau Sauvignon Blanc/Grenache, £4.74, Tesco.com Uncomplicated Southern French blend of …
Watching the news this week has been shocking, depressing, awful. People’s lives and livelihoods have been wrecked. It felt just a little bit wrong but I was glued to the TV, distracted only by twitter. Last night found me bingeing on opinion pieces, with a Newsnight chaser. Tonight there is a Question Time Special. Cue …
I had Amy Winehouse songs on repeat for much of the weekend, after reading a very thoughtful article about her in the Saturday papers (which I can’t link to, bloody paywall). Listening to that brilliant voice, it is hard to comprehend that she ended her life in such a fragile state. Better to remember her …
I’ve been blogging away for the last few years, recommending a couple of wines every week, whatever I happen to be drinking that I think you might like too. I’m now wondering whether you might want to buy wine from the site. You tell me what you want and I’ll source it exclusively for the …
The weekend before last, our school held a music festival to raise money for a new classroom they are building. Local bands played, most of which had at least one parent as a band member. My contribution was sourcing wine and volunteering to do a shift on the bar. How hard could it be? Turns …
Two more days until school’s out. So, here’s a little vlog I did for Britmums on the topic of summer holidays. Question is, lazy days approach or boot camp approach? Here’s my slightly rambling answer… It’s Albarino and ‘Enders for me tonight. Will post wine this week’s wine recommendations tomorrow night. *clinks*
Rob is a wine trade expert, social media guru and knackered dad to boot. He talks and writes about wine for a living at Thirst For Wine, so I’m sure he was thrilled, really thrilled, when I asked him to write a post for us – which he’s done, beautifully – for nothing. Rob, you …
Book Club last night. We ate curry, drank wine and talked about, amongst other things, the following: magnificent bosoms (not ours) poorly children (ours) euthanasia (generally) the Mitford sisters Caitlin Moran’s new book (affectionately known by Bearded Husband as ‘that feminist shit’) newborn babies (we had a 3-week old in attendance last night) Marley & …
I do love a quiet night in. Tonight, I am mostly loving the sofa, my bowl of pasta, quite good telly (hurrah for Jo Frost! And Alan Sugar!) and a little glass of red. This is in stark contrast to last night, which saw me screaming like a banshee at a Take That concert, with …
Apparently 70% of all booze in the UK is bought when on offer. I was quite surprised by this. Until I thought about it, that is. I love a bargain. I can’t remember the last time I bought baby wipes that weren’t on a three-for-two offer. Crisps on buy-one-get-one-free? Ship ’em in. Washing powder, bags …
Now there’s a thing. This blog has been named as one of five bloggers to watch by The Guardian, following Saturday’s Cybermummy conference. Which is a bit of a nightmare as it implies something interesting is going to happen. So, if you are here for the first time, here’s what this blog is all about: …
Here’s Rachel Johnson! And me! She’s talking at Cybermummy now about the highlights and lowlights of her published career. Specifically, how many people she has pissed off in the process. She started writing The Mummy Diaries with three small children under 5 (her kids are now teenagers) before the world of mummy blogging even existed. …
Read more “#cybermummy11 – live blog from Rachel Johnson’s speech on writing about your life”
So, I am live blogging from writer Sophie King’s writing workshop. She’s telling us how to find our (blogging) voice. She used to be a journalist and wrote about bringing up children for most of her writing life, for Family Matters magazine. When it came to writing novels, she found writing multi-character novels did it …
Read more “#cybermummy11 – live blog from Sophie King’s writing workshop”
So there I was, standing in the middle of an H&M clothes shop and all I could think was I’VE LOST IT. I just didn’t ‘get’ the clothes. Everything looked too small, too trendy, too….too…teenager-y. Still, I refused to give in graciously and picked up something to try on. Then I saw the escalator and …
The lovely Erica – aka Littlemummy – tagged me in a meme a few weeks ago. All I had to do was pick which song I would sing if doing Karaoke. Cue lots of fond memories of countless times singing into a wooden spoon/empty wine bottle fighting for the lead vocal in Atomic Kitten’s ‘Whole Again’. …
Every other week there is an alcohol-related story in the news – mostly the Daily Mail and their obsession with wine and the middle classes – but the last few days have seen a positive binge on bad booze stories. First, a major drinks company got slammed for funding midwives to educate pregnant women about …
Last night we had our latest Book Club meeting. Yet again, I failed to finish the book so had to ask a fellow BC member to fill me in on the details. I do try, really I do but in the evenings, once the children are done, food is cooked, a bit of telly is …
I vlogged about this not long ago for BritMums but I forgot to mention one of the best things about blogging. Yes, I talked about how much I love the writing, sharing wine knowledge, laughs and meeting good people. But I didn’t talk about how I’ve learned stuff reading other mothers’ blogs – really great …
Tonight, the 6yo Boy had his school disco. It was a 5.45pm drop off, £1 entry, all drinks & snacks included and an hour of wall to wall dance floor fillers. He really did dance like no-one was watching. He and his friends went BONKERS; they busted moves, laughed their heads off and generally had …
Here’s one I made earlier, some suggestions for summer drinkies: <img src=”http://img2.blogblog.com/img/video_object.png” style=”background-color: #b2b2b2; height: 288px; width: 512px; ” class=”BLOGGER-object-element tr_noresize tr_placeholder” id=”ooyalaPlayer_7sgjw_glaya2zf” data-original-id=”ooyalaPlayer_7sgjw_glaya2zf” />
I’ve been away from home for a few nights, spending the days working on a wine stand at the annual London International Wine Fair. Cue much swirling, sipping and spitting whilst surrounded by hundreds of bottles of wine. Now I’m home and have been cobbling a vicar’s outfit together for my son to take to …
We’ve moved house. Again. Only this time, we moved into one that we own. After years of renting, we are now in a 1970’s bungalow with a peach-coloured bathroom, a green sitting room and cork floors throughout. Living Etc it ain’t but I love it more than any house we’ve ever lived in. In fact, …
A recent study claimed that we couldn’t tell the difference between cheap wine and expensive wine. When asked to decide which was which, only 50% of respondents got it right. Weird, because in my experience, give someone a £5 bottle and a £10 bottle and most people can differentiate. We might not always prefer the …
I am very excited about Friday for a number of reasons. We’ll be in our new house having moved the day before AND we have a Royal Wedding to watch. Best of all, my darling sister is coming over from Brussels for a few days just so she can watch it on TV with me …
This week, I am in town for the International Wine Challenge, tasting about 100 wines a day blind (as in the bottles are covered up, rather than me tasting them with my eyes closed). I’m tasting the wines with a panel of experts to unearth this year’s gold, silver and bronze medal wines. Results will …
I’m a born worrier. I’m the eldest sibling, a Virgo and a mother. Triple whammy. But there is a huge difference in my BC (before childbirth) and AD (after delivery) worries. BC was mostly me: namely money, weight, clothes, job, social & love life. There was a dalliance with existentialism vs. rationalism during the university …
Ahead of tonight’s BMB wine twitter tasting, here’s a quick guide on how to taste and get the most from your glass of vino. Tasting starts at 8pm and the three wines we’re tasting are listed here . Drop in whatever you are tasting. Laters x
Today has been a bit of a rush, as in time-poor rather than adrenaline. School run, work, school run (already?!) swimming lessons, more work. But this evening has been a joy. I poured a glass of red and SLOWED. DOWN. I made a little vlog about tasting wine ahead of a twitter tasting I am …
So I think we’ve established that this blog is about wine and me. Mostly me. As if I needed any encouragement, I was asked to attend a BMB blogging event last week in London where a select handful motley crue of blogging mothers were given cameras and a lesson in how to vlog (that’s video blogging: I know, who …
I’ve been ill, proper lying-under-blankets-shivering ill, for four days. So no wine for me; just soup, tea and sympathy with a pholcodine chaser. Unable to share wine recommendations, I thought I’d share this instead. It is a TED talk by Brene Brown on the power of vulnerability. I watched it a few weeks ago, hot cup of tea in …
This week, I have mostly failed. Namely: 1) failed to finish my book before Book Club night 2) failed to make any inroads on mountain of washing 3) failed to meet one or two (OK, three) work deadlines 4) failed to post a thank you letter that’s been in my bag for a week 5) …
Heroines, I’ve had a few: Nightingale (Florence & Annie), Nigella and any number of Jilly Cooper characters included (the ones who weren’t obviously pretty but then became ravishing once drenched in Diorissimo and tight on thunderous G&Ts). Another heroine is Jancis Robinson MW (Master of Wine), a walking wine authority. Jancis started Wine Relief in 1999 and has helped raise nearly …
My sister and I found my mother’s latest boyfriend on the internet. Background: post first marriage, she’s not been a great picker. After a string of unsuitables, we decided to take action. Following a particularly jolly wedding (not hers), we got home and signed her up on a dating website. We added her profile, a picture (in retrospect, using …
I’m not a huge sports fan. I once asked Andrew Strauss if he was following the Ashes. I was making polite conversation, the Ashes was in the news at the time and I had no idea who he was. Obviously. But tonight, I watched The Arse whoop Barca’s backside and it was great fun. It was just …
According to Lorraine Candy, editor of Elle magazine, it’s easier to run an office of 40 than build a Lego fort. You don’t say. When I was on maternity leave after Eldest Boy was born it was obviously joyous, but it was also mind-numbingly monotonous at times. Engaging with little people against a backdrop of dirty washing and a toy-covered …
I’m friends with VB. Not that VB (seriously though, have you read Mrs Beckham’s interview in this month’s Vogue? She’s fab). This is Very Bored, or Very Bored in Catalunya to give her blog its full title. Luckily, boredom drives her to write very funny stuff. It also drives her to drink (in moderation, obviously) and she knows lots about good Spanish …
I love a good book but had always found the idea of a book club rather awful. As a friend said, years of being told what to read at school can put a girl off. Then I was asked to join one by another friend who used to work for SOMEONE REALLY FAMOUS so I said yes thinking …
I’ve had a complaint from a reader – a reader!* – who’s asked me not to bang on about how bleak January is, about dieting or not drinking (as if). She wants wine recommendations and a laugh. That’s me told. So, I’m not a big spirits drinker: vodka makes me feisty, gin makes me cry, whisky makes me think …
Maybe it is the harsh jute-like feel of January compared with the velvet comfort of December, but I am struggling to get going. It might be the extra weight I’m carrying (booze/food, not baby for once) but I think it is just January. I’ll go straight to the wines, that’ll cheer me up. This week’s white in the …
In a token nod to the new year I’m off the booze for a week but luckily my friend Claire @ CRUMBS kindly agreed to do a guest post. If you haven’t seen this site, please go and have a look. It has saved me from tears at teatime on more than a few occasions. When Knackered Mother invited …
Middle Class Nightmare #1 Spending 2 minutes trying to get into the wrong black 4×4 in the Waitrose carpark yesterday afternoon Middle Class Nightmare #2 Not being able to find a bottle of Campari for my Dirty Proseccos tonight Luckily, I found not only my car but possibly the last bottle of Campari in the county. Tonight …
I’ve always dismissed the Christmas round robin letter idea. Even worse, an e-Christmas card. But this evening I found myself replying via email to a group of old friends who are now placed all over the world and realised that summing up all the important news in one’s life is actually a very good exercise. Here’s mine: Eldest …
Click here to read the Knackered Mothers’ Christmas Wine Survival Guide, written for my friend and foodie goddess, English Mum. If, however, you are not yet feeling the Christmas Spirit and need a little help, I have a suggestion. Make one of these (recipe below), drink it and reassess. I’ve wanted to know how to make a good espresso Martini for some time but …
I was talking to a friend last week about how the loss of someone you love puts everything in perspective. We were driving along a forest road, the snow blanket still tucked neatly over the landscape. The silence that followed our pondering was loaded. Up until the point when she said: “a bit like that guy in Spinal Tap.” Me: huh? …
We arrived back from the eldest boy’s swimming lesson tonight to see the house looking like this: No doubt tomorrow, bearded husband will put on the Christmas play list and that will be that. Until January. This week’s white in the fridge: Jean Claude Fromont Chablis Premier Cru 2008, £8, currently half price, Tesco Wine Club …
So, I’m going to write a book, titled as above. It will be about wine but to be able to call it the KMWC Guide to Wine I need to know what you want to know. I’ve got ideas (grapes, countries, labels, food) but if you’ve got something you’d like to see in a wine guide please let me know, either here …
I’ve been watching Nigellaah cook on telly this evening. I love her. And, I. Want. Her. Kitchen. I have kitchen envy! How did it come to this? Surely I want the never-ending supply of jewel-coloured cashmere short-sleeved jumpers? Or, at least, the multi-millionaire husband and his art collection. Actually, no. I just want that kitchen. Although, must be said, the faux dinner …
I’ve been to a Christmas Fair tonight in the local Stately. I drank warm white wine and discussed cushions. I bought socks and a magnetic dartboard as presents. This is what warm white wine does to you. Stay clear. This week’s white in the fridge: The Reach Sauvignon Blanc 2009, £6.49 on offer, Tesco A reader – a …
I went out on Monday night. It doesn’t happen often so I made the most. I wore an adored emerald green dress (Ghost), nail varnish (Rouge Noir), matching underwear (old vintage Myla) and really high heels. On Tuesday, I wore track suit bottoms, couldn’t walk properly and had two mouth ulcers. My body has decided to slope about doing everything at half-speed ever since, leaving …
Here in the cyber-playground, I’ve been tagged by the Merlot-swilling loving Eh, Mummy? and asked to write about my Perfect Man. Actually, she says I’m allowed to write about my perfect wine, which is a great relief because I couldn’t top her description in which she references John Holmes, dirty cow. My perfect wine has been, at various times, …
India Allsopp (or was it Kirstie Knight?) recently wrote about putting one’s relationship with husband/partner first, followed by that with the children: the couple are the cornerstone and unless that relationship comes first, the edifice will crumble. In short, adult time is essential to keep everything together. For me, the idea of eating tea with my 1, 2 and 6yo is not …
Life is too short for lots of things. Stuffing a mushroom, for one (Delia). Too short to be livin’ with stress, for another (Dizzee Rascal). Agree with both Delia and Dizzee but my own personal favourite, unsurprisingly, is that life’s too short to drink bad wine. Someone I know, let’s call her Josie, went to buy emergency wine …
You know the score. Please make jam/cakes/whatevah for (insert name here)’s nursery produce sale. Reader, I’ve never made jam. I broke out into a cold sweat. Would a wine donation distract from the fact that I am hopeless on the preserves front? But then my friend Jules came to the rescue. Come to mine, and …
There has been a lot of talk about wine talk recently. Among wine writers, that is. From what I can gather, they are arguing that one wine drinker’s blackberries are another wine drinker’s raspberries. Should we really be so aroma and flavour-descriptive when tasting wine is so subjective? Well, when I’m buying something that I haven’t tried before …
I had to work last Saturday at a wine fair, leaving bearded husband with the three children from 8 in the morning until 8 at night. When I got home, the children were all in bed, the (ready made) fish pie was in the oven and the house surprisingly tidy. There was even a glass of wine with my name on it. I …
The Knackered Mother (knackeredus maternius) is most commonly seen in her natural habitat, the kitchen. Here, she slaves away putting food on the table for her children to flick all over the floor, occasionally falling silent to actually eat some of it. She exists on a diet of sandwich crusts, leftover fish fingers and mint kitkats with the …
My 6yo boy’s favourite current pastime is writing secret agent-type notes, folding them into paper aeroplanes and pinging them round the door of the kitchen. They land softly at my feet and he scampers back up the stairs, shrieking with laughter. Recent notes include baddies are poo heads and – my personal favourite – i love you big bum that …
I don’t get big festivals. There was a massive festival on the Isle of Wight at the weekend and a friend came back complaining of feeling old. That’s because you are twice as old as most people there! I said. To myself. Of course, we go to Glastonbury every year and watch all the bands’ best bits without getting …
Three brave fellow British Mummy Bloggers have just returned from a visit to Bangladesh with Save The Children to raise awareness for the Press For Change campaign, one that aims to help prevent the deaths of children. 9 million a year, to be precise. I’ve been following their trip here and whooping (to myself) when reading about …
Half-watching How To Look Good Naked whilst slowly sewing name tapes to school uniform sweatshirts/trousers/polo shirts before eldest boy goes back next week, I started thinking about my own failsafe rules. So here it is, the KMWC guide to how to look good naked: 1. Dim lighting Er, that’s it. Perhaps not enough mileage for a TV show, granted. Current white …
Following two weeks away on holiday (we did a Bromsgroves, Mrs T), I feel somewhat restored by my break from the norm. A bit of sun – tans fade, wrinkles don’t blah blah – and a couple of snatched half-hours with my book and I’m happy. Determined to not fall back to pre-holiday ways including 1) talking to my children …
1. Smoke (I know, I know…). 2. Cry for all those failed pregnancy tests I used to do 3. Have a functional kitchen like Katie 4. Kiss my mother for not being nearly as dysfunctional as Katie’s mother It said in the paper today that this programme should be watched whilst eating tinned peaches and drinking …
I used to travel abroad alot in my old, full-time, pre-children job. In fact, so often I had a bag that remained permanently half-packed, ready to be topped up last minute. Nowadays, I don’t get out much and honestly don’t miss it. (Currently non-bearded) husband rarely has to go away for work but tonight he left for somewhere 12 hours away by plane with …
Dear Celebrity Masterchef, I thought I could do it. I thought I could go cold turkey, perhaps even use the time I used to spend with you doing something more productive. Perhaps take up the hem on the trousers I bought over a month ago, maybe finish the book I have been reading for the last two. Of course, I’d forgotten …
“Ohmigod, that’s a headache wine” said a friend the other day after sipping a Spanish white wine. Then Ladybird World Mother said that she too got wretched headaches when drinking wine and doesn’t even throw it back like the old days (her words, not mine). What might cause these headaches, other than having three too many? The usual suspect is sulphur, which …
A friend told me today that she is on a new regime, wine-free Monday to Friday (same friend who thought this site was called the Naked Mother’s Wine Club, told her to be careful when searching that one). Later, a Twitter humour-twin announced she was having a glass of Champagne tonight for no particular reason. In turn, I admire both the restraint and sybaritic …
I am what you might call a meme virgin, so very much hoping to get this right. Thank you Mrs Trefusis, for tagging me. Here’s me on my favourite subject: me. What experience has most shaped you, and why? I’ve got two. Firstly, meeting my husband-to-be at four years old and being together from the …
Or so my mother used to say to me when hurrying me out of the door to get to school on time. But that is exactly what it was. The length of our skirts, the carefully picked holes in our jumpers…we might have all been in school uniform but there were ways to mark ourselves out, or rather blend in. Now I’m doing …
Someone once said – probably Germaine – that beyond a certain age, women become invisible. I’d always assumed that referred to women my mother’s age* but a funny thing happened last week that made me think it might happen sooner than anticipated. As I walked out of Topshop on Oxford Street (see how I’m fighting it?) a young hipster stood with a microphone doing …
Someone once said – probably Germaine – that beyond a certain age, women become invisible. I’d always assumed that referred to women my mother’s age* but a funny thing happened last week that made me think it might happen sooner than anticipated. As I walked out of Topshop on Oxford Street (see how I’m fighting it?) a young hipster stood with a microphone doing …
I. Am. Knackered. And I definitely can’t top my John Torode story from last week. So, if you don’t mind, I’ll go straight to the wines. Current rose in the fridge: Clos Clementine 2008, £10 Hot weather demands pale rose, preferably a really good one from the Cotes de Provence region. Rose wine is made from red grapes …
Picture the scene: drinks reception for work, unfamiliar surroundings, friend introduces you to another friend. You greet them with great familiarity, you know you’ve met them before. Conversation starts. Brain shouting where have you met him before? What is his name? Weird, he really looks like that bloke who does Masterchef. Oh f*ck. It is that bloke who does Masterchef. The one you’ve never met …
Last week, we got a new car. Second hand actually, but by far the most grown up car we’ve ever had. It’s the children and dog car, Bearded Husband said. We’ll have it forever, he said. You will be careful, won’t you? he said. He’s called me three times today to ask something about something – as they do – but mostly …
I love putting pretty hairclips in my daughter’s hair, sweeping her long fringe to one side and sweeping the enforced-genderism-at-such-a-tender-age argument to the other. It’s a hairclip, FFS. Anyway, point is with two boys I’d only really considered childrens’ haircuts in terms of nit prevention. Not so with the baby girl: she has lovely hair, long enough to need aforementioned hairclips to keep it out of her eyes. At …
Saturday night was fun, if a little wierd. I returned from eldest son’s School Ball with a splinter in my foot from shoes-off dancing. My husband returned with a painting having bid for it in the auction. I think he had the fizz equivalent of beer goggles for art on with that one. Fart goggles, perhaps. We got home, navigated our way through …
It’s eldest son’s school Annual Ball for parents on Saturday night and I am looking forward to it and dreading it in equal measure. The pros include meeting up with good friends for stiff drinks before we go and, later, being able to dance to live music then disco whilst slightly under the influence. I love dancing; proper hands in …
Following two weeks of tasting hundreds of wines all day, every day here, my take on the current wine-scape is this: 1. New Zealand Pinot Noir is usually divine. 2. Cheap South African red usually isn’t. 3. Champagne with a bit of age is much more interesting than young stuff. 4. Chilean Cabernet Sauvignon from the Colchagua region tastes a bit like chocolate. 5. The Nebbiolo grape (of …
Last week, I was averaging 150 wines a day. In a professional capacity of course: I am one of the judges at this year’s International Wine Challenge held in London. Winning wines will boast a gold, silver or bronze medal – results released in May – hopefully making the (often hideously confusing) task of choosing …
Back from Bordeaux, a few pounds heavier but happy, very happy. Tasting the new vintage wines straight from the barrel with the winemaker is a pretty special experience. The 2009 wines are looking lovely; very ripe, full of sweet fruit and lots of alcohol. It will be a while before we’re drinking them, so in the meantime get thee to Tesco where its Spring …
I am off to Bordeaux for two days tomorrow, to visit a new producer we’re working with. I’ll also get to taste some en primeur (in other words, yet to be released) wines to boot. 2009 is being touted as the best vintage for, ooh, maybe twenty years so there is a definite buzz in the vinous air. Tonight, …
My mother and I went to the cinema last night to see The Swedish Film With A Really Long Name, currently showing in cinemas (the type of cinema where you can take your glass of wine in with you, naturally). Now, I loved Wallander but TSFWARLN was a three hour version but without Kenneth Branagh. And the furniture wasn’t nearly as …
Much excitement all round: we’re off to Venice for a few days to celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary. The children seem to sense the highly indulgent grand-parenting that lies ahead. I thought I’d buy something new for the occasion and today I did just that. Underwear that actually matches? A Spring-tastic print scarf? Clogs to make it clear I still read Vogue and …
The five year old has a pair of enormous green Incredible Hulk hands. A Christmas present, rather than his actual hands, obviously. Anyway, you wear the Hulk hands over your real hands and then bash things, whereupon a voice from the glove shouts: “Don’t make me angry, you won’t like me when I’m angry!” The two year old has taken …
Wine is an excellent thing. Apologies for the inarticulate nature of this opening statement but with two out of three children currently running a temperature + a forgotten-about school closure day for the only one without a temperature + work day that culminated with middle boy wondering into the study half-way through a conference call dressed as a Power Ranger, I …
Earlier this evening, I filled two enormous bags with maternity and baby clothes for yet another nursery fundraiser. What struck me – apart from my dependency on New Look size XL tops when pregnant – is how easy it was to part with these clothes. Not just because I have worn them again and again, rather I know that I’m done. Even here in …
I was locked in a padded cell in a karaoke bar in Soho for two hours on Saturday night and learnt the following: 1. Girls Aloud is not as good karaoke material as you might think. 2. I Know Him So Well – with one playing Babs and the other Elaine – however, is very good indeed. 3. The end …
For a while my habit was out of control. Not that I knew it at the time, of course. I thought I could control it: one week Hello!, the next Grazia, the following week, OK! My knowledge on high street fashion, royals and Cheryl Cole was impressive. But before I knew it, I was doing all three in …
Last night we held a Knackered Mothers’ Wine Club tasting at a local restaurant (the amazing Graze) to raise a bit of cash for our local nursery. It was a heady mix: eight wines + inquisitive people up for trying different wines + company of friends both old and new. The result was delicious. Lots of laughter, slurping, a bit of spitting, far more …
There are few things more dull than being stuck with the man who talks to your boobs rather than face at dinner but there is someone who trumps him in my experience: The Wine Bore. The WB uses wine knowledge like a weapon, beating those around him into submission with presumed superior wine powers. I’d be mortified to be labelled as such but if you ever catch …
I posted a couple of days ago, a brief note about my brother Tim who died eight years before to that day. It was a few sentences on how still-bearded husband and I would mark the date by having fish and chips that night, together with a bottle of Champagne (it really is a brilliant, if not obvious, match) and that was …
One of the tips for new year, new you is to clear out your wardrobe, throwing away anything unworn over the past year. Whoever wrote that clearly doesn’t realise that there are clothes that I haven’t worn for five years BUT I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO WEAR THEM AGAIN. I just need to lose a couple of, er, pounds. …
In my old life – the one with travel, no children and a flatish tummy – I spent lots of time on courses learning how to negotiate. I was a supermarket wine buyer and this was seen as an essential skill. I was never very good, always blinked first. However, I now realise these courses were hopeless. What we should have done was spend time …
I was described as ‘organic’ the other day. By a hairdresser. It didn’t really register at the time but I think I’ve realised what he meant. Call me shallow – you wouldn’t be the first – but I used to have much better hair/eyebrows/clothes/shoes. Now, I wouldn’t say I’ve completely let myself go but I’ve definitely had to …
A few days ago, a friend and I talked about how much we were loving the holidays: everyone at home, no school runs, even relative lie-ins thanks to later-than-usual bedtimes for the children. The holidays are too short! I said. I wish we had another week of this! I said. I must have been tipsy, or showing off. Probably both. Truth is, I am …
There is a dance routine that I have perfected over the years. It is set to Queen’s ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ and is performed in the kitchen at times of extreme stress or emotion to my favourite audience: my three children. The five year old laughs like a madman, the two year old looks bemused but laughs all the same …
I’m not sure quite when it was that I turned into my mother, but I have spent the last hour making mince pies. I’ve been accompanied by a Christmas playlist – made by still-bearded husband – and a rather gorgeous glass of Chianti Classico. Nonetheless, no-one warned me middle-aged Christmas domesticity would come and slap me in the face in …
That is the question, as it turns out. My husband is sporting a beard (grown pre-Becks, he likes to remind me) and I just can’t decide if I like it or not. One minute he looks like a manly bearded man, beautiful like a grizzly bear. The next he’s more like a wierd looking vagrant who’s wandered into our kitchen, …
I measure all pain on the BC scale: before childbirth. Even using an epilator is a walk in the park nowadays. But there is a mother who has raised the bar when it comes to showing the love. This particular one has her babies, then lets them eat her. OK, so she’s a spider rather than an actual person …
Cats: never got them. Or rather, couldn’t quite connect with those referred to as ‘cat people’. Like you have to choose just one animal to love. A sweeping generalisation but I’ve always thought cat people smelt faintly of wee and were prone to preciousness. Then, a few weeks ago, the two year old was given a kitten for his …
A late post from me this week, I’ve been away with work. In fact, still here in the wierd and wonderful place that is Los Angeles. A dose of sun and a red convertible Mustang has taken the edge off missing the children, but I’ll be happy when on that return flight tomorrow. The boys and baby have been time-tabled this week: a spreadsheet setting …
So, we went to a gig the other night to see the very excellent Editors. Loved the music but the dancing and whooping felt ever-so-slightly self-conscious. Is it me? Anyway, my music-native friend who organised the tickets explained that the term gig is out. It is now called a ‘show’ apparently. Fine if you haven’t had children, but for anyone …
There was a time when the Sunday Papers were read cover to cover all before our first glass of wine at lunchtime on a Sunday. No longer. Now, I might manage one article in short bursts over the course of the morning in between feeding/dressing/conversing with various small people in the house. By the time lunch has been …
All I had to do was make something for the middle son’s nursery charity cake stall on Saturday. Good people made glorious cakes, chutneys and jam. I, however, made my step-mother an offer she couldn’t refuse: a bottle of robust red wine for a pile of fairy cakes. Sometimes the work/life balance doesn’t work and …
A pair of Clarks shoes to be precise. I didn’t realise quite how much of a landmark it was at the time. All I’d done was wander past the shoe shop in town pushing the littlest one in the buggy on the way to the post office when a pair of shoes on the sale …
I read something that made me laugh out loud on a heavenly family-of-five-in-a-small-confined-space car journey last weekend. Apparently someone once said that one of the foremost over-rated things in life is cheap Champagne. Along with lobster, picnics and anal sex. Although, as a friend (the one for whom we made the long car journey) pointed …
Big night in our village tonight: the Harvest Supper. I was on the ‘young’ table (i.e. six out of eight were under 45) and we were entertained by a singer who made her name singing the hook line for the old Fairy Liquid adverts. Then there was the raffle (notelets & dusty bottle of Hock: …
My mother is about to appear at the door with our supper. She doesn’t do this every night – that would make me lazy – but she lives a few doors down and her roast chicken always saves me whenever I’m husband-less and on the verge of morphing into a shouting nightmare. We’re going to …
My husband says I’m not to mention him in this blog unless it is in a positive light. So, unless my devastingly good-looking, intelligent, witty, so-hands-on-with-the-children-I-don’t-know-how-lucky-I-am husband does anything to upset me, he won’t be featuring. And so to the wines. A girlfriend turned up tonight to drop her son off for a sleepover and …
Thought it might be useful to suggest two wines a week: 1) the white in the fridge 2) the red on the side If I find a good rose or sparkling, I’ll include these too. I’ll make sure they are widely available and promise that they will be good value. I promise not to share …
Wednesday evening. Three children, all in bed. Bath run, not eaten yet. Work calling but had an idea. Start a blog to tell people what I’m having a glass of once the little ones are in bed. I am a wine expert (qualified!), having bought wine for a major supermarket for nearly ten years. Now working – …
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