So, here are the things I’ve learned in the last month since being on the telly once a week:
1. The camera doesn’t add 10lbs. It add loads more than that.
2. As much as I love having my hair and make up done by a professional make up artist, I am mostly sitting there really hoping this isn’t the week when the make up lady screams ‘OH MY GOD, YOU’VE GOT NITS!’ (Which I haven’t, by the way. But school is crawling, literally).
3. My laugh is really loud. And on telly, it’s especially loud.
4. Most famous people are much smaller in real life. Except Craig Revel Horwood, who’s really tall and surprisingly skinny. And Bobby Ball, who is properly tiny.
5. I’m slightly overfamiliar with famous people, because I forget that I don’t actually know them. I just think I do.
This week’s highlight was listening to The Proclaimers play live, bringing back memories of singing ‘500 Miles’ at the tops of voices at the end of numerous weddings over the years. And I watched the Horrible Histories people doing a rap from their fantastic-looking Barmy Britain live show; even got a photo with Richard III (at least, I think it was him) for Eldest Boy. To wine…
Current white in the fridge: Dr L Riesling 2009, £7.16, Asda (also in Majestic & Waitrose but £££)
This week, I had to pick three lower-than-normal calorie wines for the AT show. I could have gone down the really low route, the 5.5% wine-based drinks, but decided to stick to proper wines i.e. the ones that are naturally lower in alcohol. These include Muscadet (around 11%), Vinho Verde (around 9%) and Asti/Moscato (around 7%). But my favourite is this one, at just 8.5%. It’s an off-dry German Rielsing from one of the best producers, Loosen, from the Mosel. Think apricots, lemons and limes – and about 50 calories less than a glass of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. So not strictly low calorie, but lower. And delicious.
Current red in the rack: Porcupine Ridge Syrah Viognier 2012, £8.99, Majestic
An old favourite, known by friends as the Spiky Pig wine due to the Porcupine on the label (easy mistake to make). This is made by the very fabulous Boekenhoutskloof, in Franschhoek, South Africa. And the trick here is earthy Syrah (also known as Shiraz), softened with a splash of the white Viognier grape. It’s a Northern Rhone trick, specifically the Cote-Rotie region, but works a treat here too. Expect a real bramble-fruit fest, with tons of alcohol (14.5%). Definitely not a low calorie wine, I’m afraid. But I’m not counting.
Peace out, winos x
Famous people really are, as a rule, teeny tiny, aren't they? Perhaps that is why I am not famous, goddamn my parents and their tall gene. I once saw Bono on the street, and if it hadn't been for his sunglasses and high-heel boots (clearly not high enough) I would have thought he was a 10 year old boy – a short 10 year old boy, at that – wearing his cool (and possibly gay) much older brother's clothes.
Your laugh is BRILLIANT by the way, and I bet all the celebs LOVE you.
Ha! Hilarious…and thank you for reassuring words on my very loud laugh x